Acta non verba

Well, the sun is shining and it has turned in to a truly beautiful day. I was beginning to think the Met Office was for once telling us the truth about the weather...
The weekend was pretty good, despite being ill. I went to have a couple of drinks with some friends, and it would have been absolutely fantastic had Mr L not been there. With afore-mentioned baggage. I actually haven't gone in to any detail whatsoever regarding this baggage, and do not feel it appropriate. Yet. Anyhow, I woke up on Sunday to find he had sent me 5 messages during the night. That is just wrong, don't you think? Somehow, and I really do not understand how this came about, the sneaky bastard has ensured that I am meeting him for lunch on Friday. I just don't get it. I have used so much energy trying to keep out of his way and not have to see him, and now I have to sit across a table from him, spending the only hour I will have to myself all day. Bastard.

Work has been pretty slow today. As was yesterday. The new fiscal year is taking a while to get started. No doubt next week I shall be rushed off my feet. Far too busy to even contemplate having lunch with anyone. Well, no, that's a lie. If the cute guy with no hair who works on the floor below me were to ask me to lunch, I'd be off in a flash. However, he managed to lose a hell of a lot of money last week and apparently is lucky he still has his job. Not big and not clever. I really would hate to work in a commission-based job. I know, I know, when you do well, you earn lots and lots of money and can buy pretty, shiny new toys and all sorts. But, what happens when you have a dry spell and you're scraping the pennies together to pay your rent? No sirree, that is most certainly not my bag. One other plus in The Cutie's favour is that he too smokes. I know this is not good, and that I really should not be wishing a slow, painful, torturous death full of black tar and emphysema and cancer-related symptoms, but it does make me feel slightly less of a pariah.



The sticks of death...

Yes, cigarettes are bad (m'kay?) and yes, I am smoking myself in to an early grave, but do all you do-gooders who have never drunk, never smoked, never had an ounce of fun in your entire, miserable and meaningless lives know how truly difficult it is to kick such a habit? Something that has, quite literally, been a part of you for years and years (what with all the toxins and tar molecules attaching themselves to your alveolar sinews and swimming around in your very life-blood? No. I didn't think so. Nicotine molecules have been swooshing through my veins and in to my brain about ten times a day (even more so if I happen to be imbibing on the poison that is alcohol) for the past 7 years or so. I have been carrying the fuckers around with me for seven God-damn years, and to suddenly let go IS VERY FUCKING DIFFICULT! What I'm getting at is, do NOT shove your "smoking is going to make you and every other creature within a million mile radius infertile" crap. I know! I'm going to die, and guess what? You're not! Unless you don't shut the hell up, because I will blow my poisonous, toxin-filled smoke in your face and take you with me. Schadenfreude.


Autobiography... (I took this from a well-known networking site)

1.Where did you take your last pic?
In the pub - my friends and I were trying to see who could do the best monkey impression.

2.What exactly are you wearing right now?
Dark jeans, Quiksilver sweater that a lovely Kiwi in Australia gave me, Birkenstocks.

3.What is your current problem?
How to get out of lunch on Friday with Mr L without causing a scene or unnecessary upset.

4.What makes you happy most?
Lots and lots of sunshine. Holidays. My family.

5.What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
The stupid recurring music played on Bloomberg (Sky channel 502, yes, I am sad). Some of us have to WORK, you know?

6.Any celeb you would marry?
Ian McKellen. But unfortunately he's 70 and gay.

7.Name someone with the same birthday as you?
My cousin Jambie. Jamie Theakston. Samuel L. Jackson. Kiefer Sutherland.

8.Ever sang in front of a large audience?
Well, I tried.

9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Nope.

10.Do you still watch kiddie movies or kiddie TV shows?
I do tend to pull out the VCR and Thundercats cassettes every now and again. They don't make them like they used to.

11. Do you speak any languages?
Spanish and a bit of German.

12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
Too many.

13.Do you ever watch MTV?
No

14.What's something that really annoys you?
Staunch Labour supporters. Ken Livingston.

Chapter 1:
===============

1.Middle name:
Jane

2.Nickname(s):
Em, Emmish, EJ, Sausage

3.Current location:
Strand, London WC2

4.Eye color:
Blue.

Chapter 2:
===============

1.Do you live with your parent(s):
Until I can afford not to

2.Do you get along with your parent(s):
Very much so

3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced
My mom is a widow

4.Do you have any Siblings?:
Two brothers. Oh, what wouldn't I give to be an only child? Me me me me me!

Chapter 3: Favorites
===============

1. Ice Cream:
Not really an ice cream fan. Especially if it's on a stick. Yuk.

2. Season:
Summer for sure.

3.Shampoo/conditioner:
Aussie moisturising ones. Mmmm..

Chapter 4: Do You..
===============

1.Dance in the shower?
All the time.

2.Do you write on your hand?
Unfortunately. And usually with ink that seeps its' sneaky way in to the very deepest pores it can find. So even when you draw blood because you're scrubbing so hard, you look like you haven't washed. I am not a scaff. I just tend to do silly things, OK?

3.Call people back:
Try to...

4.Believe in love:
For other people, yes.

6. Any bad habits?
Posting on this blog when I really should be being productive. Smoking.

7. Any mental health issues:
Not that I'm aware of.


Chapter 5: Have You..
===============
1.Broken a bone:
Many a time.

2.Sprained stuff:
Yup

3.Had physical therapy:
Sounds exciting! But, if that means physiotherapy, as in post-surgery/accident therapy, then yes.

4. Gotten stitches:
Nope.

5.Taken painkillers:
Er... Do old people all decide to hit the supermarket on a Saturday, generally the one day that everyone who is at work all week can go? Yes. I live for painkillers.

6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling:
Nope.

7.Been stung by a bee:
It was most certainly a bee that got me... Bastard

8.Thrown up at the dentist:
Yuck, no way.

9.Sworn in front of your parents:
All the time

10. Had detention:
Once. And it still haunts me so don't go there.

11.Been called a hoe:
Hahaha all the time

Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
===============
1.Movie(s):
Happy Feet

2.Three people to text you:
I have no one next to me. It seems most of my colleagues have prior engagements. Either that or I smell.

3. Person you called:
Home.

4.Person you hugged:
My brother

5.Person you tackled:
My other brother

6. Person you talked to on IM?
Can't remember, have been avoiding it for weeks...

7.Thing you touched:
The telephone.

8. Thing you ate?
Quavers.

9.Thing you drank:
Coffee

10.Thing you said:
"I'm tied up on the other line. Can you Yahoo it to me?"

11.Person you kissed:
My Mother. On the cheek to say thanks for the lift to the train station.



The last question makes me think that I really do need to get a life. And some new friends too, seeing as mine all live hundreds of miles away.
And now it's 17.22 and very nearly time to go home. Where I have the joy of preparing dinner, washing up and getting everyone ready for the morning. I really do need a life.

Back to it!

Chocolate, chocolate chocolate

4 days off. Fantastic! Not that I actually did anything worth talking about, but hey. It was just so nice to have time off to recharge and chill out a bit. After working pretty much a fifty hour week, you do tend to get a little sleepy. I also had a message from Mr L on Saturday. All it said was "Hi". Nothing else. The likelihood of me responding was pretty slim anyway, but what on earth is one meant to say to that? What a waste of a text message. No news, nothing interesting. Just the shortest and probably most boring word imaginable. Needless to say, I didn't reply.
I did, howsomever, spend the weekend eating chocolate as if it was going out of fashion. I felt sick at more than one point and think that my arteries are now lined thickly with cocoa. Nice. I do love chocolate though.

The news over the past couple of months has been horrendous, what with the string of young kids being stabbed. And then on Saturday another boy was killed. He was only 14. And he was killed by a 13 year old. I don't care what people say but I do not agree that it is all due to how
badly black youths are treated, and how they feel they have to turn to gangs for 'father figures' and to feel 'safe'. Bollocks. These kids think it's cool to hang aroung in groups and torment others, carry knives, act like idiots. The only thing is, I haven't yet come up with a way to solve the problem.



Work again

Tuesday was slightly fraught. Our CEO is over from the States so everyone is on their best behaviour. Where we would normally wear jeans and dress casually, everyone is in suits and smart clothes. He was meant to show up yesterday but was jet-lagged, so was here today. I'd never met him before, but found him quite amiable. He's one of these larger than life characters and was already giving us a grilling having only been here for about ten minutes. Anyhow, we're all off to the Savoy Grill for dinner tonight which should be good. Yummy!

Oh dear, oh dear

Well, it's my third day as a permanent employee. Nothing has changed from when I was a temp, really. Things are hectic. The auditors are in, so I haave the guys in the States chasing me every day for some invoice or other. In fact, I have one of them on the IM now asking about a computer. It just seems non stop, but I'm loving it! However, a 4 day weekend is just what I need right now. I get to work at 7.30am and don't leave til 5.30 which makes it rather a long day. Not to mention, the number 11 bus to Victoria never runs on time, so it's a bit hit-and-miss whether I make my train or not. Usually I get home just before 7, which leaves me little time to do everything I really should do in the evening. I've been really lax with my gym visits recently, which I really shouldn't be. So, this weekend is going to be one long gym-fest. I'm determined to do 8 hours in there between Friday and Monday. Says she sitting at her desk looking longingly at a Mars bar. Even though it's wrapped in a carrier bag. Hmmm.


Guilt messages

After seeing Mr L at the pub over the weekend, where he was particularly 'civil', for want of a better word, I've had pretty much constant text messages from him. You know, the messages that make you feel like a terrible, terrible person. He keeps saying he loves me, and how he only wants what makes me happy, whether that's with or without him. He's thinking of me. He can't understand why I have gone cold (which, I might add, I have not. I just do not feel that endless text messages are appropriate!) It's literally like a barrage of words. It feels as if he is backing me in to a corner, trying to make me feel like the bad guy, when in fact the real reason I don't want this is because he's married. There. I've said it. Mr L is married. No, we haven't slept together. And that's only because I refuse to let that happen. We were never even 'together'. I didn't get too attached for the reason that it is just plain wrong. I really do not care how crap his marriage is, or how he is starting divorce proceedings or any of that. I am 22 and have other things to focus on, without helping make his marriage worse and getting in to a relationship with so much excess stuff. God, I sound like such a bitch. I just don't know how to word this debacle. There is no nice way to put it.


Networking

While Mr L has been bothering me, I have been trying to take my mind off things, and have joined a networking site that all my uni friends are part of too. I thought it was just a fantastic way to keep in touch and find out what's going on. Until I realised just how many people use it, and now I just think it is absolutely incredible! I have not only got in touch with people from school that I haven't seen in four years, but also people from my primary school! I mean, we're talking 11 or 12 years since I've seen some of these people! It is fantastic, and also a great way to keep/get back in touch with people.


Easter

And now, on my way home, I am going to stop off at Paperchase. I bought my colleague's two children each an egg for Easter, and I want to try and find some of those little furry yellow chicks so I can decorate them.

I, however, will NOT be eating chocolate eggs, as I will be far too busy in the gym.