I bought these yesterday on my way home:

I'm sure none of you are interested, but they make me happy so I devote a whole post to my NEW SHOES.

Sweet bejaysus!

This post had rolling on the floor I was laughing so hard. I had to be hit with a big stick to make me stop. Read it.

I love bad stuff way too much...

...and, at the same time, have developed a severe disliking for my gym. I am one of the few females who does not wear lime green hot pants and a bra when I work out (the others being 70 year olds who rock up in their chauffeur driven Rollers). I prefer loose clothing that I am comfortable in, and that when I work out the sweat cannot be seen pouring down my back. I also do not like the men who look as if their biceps are about to explode, and up the poundage when you walk past. Don't get me wrong, I do plenty of exercise. Long dog walks, morning jogs, regular squash games, horse riding, rugby (in season) and more dance classes than you can count on one and a half hands (presuming you have 5 digits on each).

BUT - I love wine. Lots of it. In summer I like cold beer too, although not at the same time. I love cheese, and proper fresh bread and chocolate and red meat and pasta and potatoes. All of which are not particularly great for you. So, for the next 2 months, I will be eating like a rabbit. No, not like this, but more like a selection of vegetables (and fruit) and nothing else. This is mainly so I don't look like a beached whale in a bikini and scare off all the Portuguese locals in October. I don't think I'll be giving up mi vino though.

Pee pee time?

So, I wasn't going to write about this but I am still so pissed that I feel it is better to vent in to the abyss that is the blogosphere than it is in real life. I will not be seen as a WHINER by real human beans.

It took me 40 minutes to get home last night. Not the longest amount of time by all means but, still, longer than the journey should take. And I'm tired (having been at work since 0730). And the train was HOT. And the guy sat next to me had a SERIOUS BODY ODOUR PROBLEM. Like, muy apestado. I mean, he obviously feels that deodorant isn't a necessity. LISTEN DUDE, IT REALLY IS. And I'm sure that everyone in the carriage (and probably as far away as, I don't know, Illinois - and that's really far) would agree with me. I nearly went so far as to offer him the Givenchy in my handbag before I realised that he'd probably end up using the whole bottle AND WE'D STILL BE ABLE TO SMELL HIM.

And then I get home. I leave the back door open all day for HRH, so that she can go and mess in the garden when she needs to. Thing is, it rained a bit in the afternoon (she doesn't like the rain, it messes up her hair) - and it was obviously the EXACT SAME TIME that she needed a pee. She couldn't wait for the cloud to pass and go outside, so she went right there on the floor. What made me mad was the fact that my brother, who, by the way is NOT HUMAN, was so busy playing WWE Smackdown vs. RAW that he "didn't see" her squat, and "didn't hear" the sound track to Niagara Falls going on 2 METRES FROM WHERE HE WAS SITTING. And guess who had to clean it up?

Now THAT is why i am mad.

Ok, so...

...I saw this post, and now I can't stop singing. "What would Brian Boitano do, if he was here right now? He'd make a plan and he'd follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do". If you haven't seen this movie, then you're a very silly person. So go and watch it. Now.

So, I was downstairs...

...basking in the sunshine (yep, I'm a reptile, and only UV rays can move my cold, reptile blood around my body) right around the corner from Covent Garden, when this guy walked past (nearly treading on my foot) talking in to his phone about his 21st birthday party on Saturday night - and it dawned on me that never again will I be 21. In fact, I'm now 21 plus 1.5 years. I will be 23 at the end of the year. I am, like, a fully-fledged adult (although, with London property prices I'll probably still be living at home by the time I'm 25). I have a very good BSc, a very good job with even better prospects and I'm debt free. Pretty much. For now, anyway. This is all waaay too much. I mean, last night my mother was hinting about becoming a grandmother before it's too late; in fact, her actual words were, "Chorizo pequeño, when are you going to be married and have some bebés for me? You know, you're just getting older and soon your ovarios are going to shrivel up like little pasas (that's raisins/sultanas for y'all) and before you know it you'll be looking for how best to spend your pension". Because the only reason I'll have babies is especially for her to have grand kids. The fruit of my loins, where my ovaries are likened to dried fruit.


Nice.

Now THIS pisses me off...

(Courtesy of the Daily Mail website).

"The Asian Tiger, which is thriving thanks to global warming..." sounds very much to me like propaganda. How can they print so much rubbish? Playing straight in to the government's hands regarding extra taxes that are, apparently, going to make Britain more eco-friendly. This whole 'global warming' theory is just that. A THEORY. There is so much speculation and pretty much no hard evidence, and yet the whole "CO₂ emissions are how we're all killing the environment" is not only bullshit (please excuse my French) but also completely unfounded. There is so much evidence to the contrary it's unreal. Now, don't get me wrong. I know full well we're damaging the planet. Of course we are! There are billions of people trampling over it, removing the nutrients with excessive crop planting and mismanagement - it is these things that need to be tackled, and in a much more pro-active (expensive) way than at present. The thing is, it's so much easier for the government to say that they are saving the world by charging extra (illegal) taxes on flights, by upping the amount of tax on fuel and on the roads. That way, they get to spout all this tree-hugging, let's all be eco-warriors, hippie crap which fills the party coffers.

Very sneaky indeed.