So...

...I've given up being pissed off. One day I'll see the little shits and box their ears with my very large and heavy handbag. I may even kick them in the balls so they can't pass on their thieving, nasty-person genes on to poor, unsuspecting children. That'll learn them. Anyhow, I've been stewing for a few day now and I'm done.

On a much brighter note, on Friday I am going on a REAL LIFE DATE. Yup. As in, boy asks girl, girl pretends to look in her diary when she really knows that all she'll be doing is going home and painting her toe nails, and then coolly replies "yes, that sounds good". We're going for drinks here, and then dinner here. Now I just have to find something classy yet understated to wear and I'm all set.

Bastards.

I got the train home really late yesterday. It was the boss's birthday, so we all went out for drinks. There was a group of boys outside the train station when I got off. One of them tripped me up, while another yanked my bag away from me and then they all ran off. One of them stood on my hand and broke my little finger. The fuckers made off with my handbag, my phone and my credit cards. I spent the rest of the evening at the cop shop and didn't get home til midnight. My knees are grazed. My finger is killing me. I had to cancel my mobile contract and my cards. I am so pissed right now.

Creature of the night

So, I was out walking HRH on Saturday, soon after midnight, (it was a quiet weekend, ok?) when she suddenly saw something crossing the road. Disobeying me, she ran over to it until I shouted at her. I walked over to see what it was that what it was she was staring at so intently. It was one of these little critters:



That's it. A hog of the hedge. They don't always curl up in to a ball when they feel threatened. Sometimes they simply freeze. The one I saw had stopped, mid-stride with his front left leg up and ready to move ahead, right in the middle of the road. I was worried he might get run over by a car so I picked him up and put him under the gate that leads to the allotments. He was a real fatty.

Today...

...I am wearing my brand new shoes. And they are so darn beautiful I almost can't look at them for fear of springing an ocular leak.

Yes, sirree Bob, them's some bee-yoooo-tiful footwear.

Amen.

Ok, so, my friends are doing something pretty amazing right about now.

They are going from the North Pole to the South Pole using only manpower. Yes, you heard right. These boys have made their way from the geomagnetic North Pole, skating their way over sea ice, down to Greenland where they sailed round Newfoundland to New York in time to take up their sponsored pitch at the Live Earth concert. Now, on their bicycles, they're on their way to their next checkpoint at Memphis, having crossed the Appalachians. They cycle all the way down, down, down til they hit Panama, and sail from there, through the Panama canal, to Guayaquil in Ecuador. Back on their bikes they then cycle all down the west coast of the continent, to Tierra del Fuego and then Cape Horn where they jump in their yacht and sail round Las Malvinas, past the Cape of Good Hope, til they hit the magnetic South Pole.

If you see them on their travels, be sure to say hi!

THIS...

...is how bored I am at work right now.

To the people of IL...

...I salute you.