The one where teh Sausage gets a promotion

So, my boss took me to lunch today, and asked if I'd be happy if he promotes me. Guess what I said?

Hell yeah!

Woohoo!!

Now I can go buy me some more new shoes...

It's not something one's doctor can do straight away, you see

So, I saw my surgeon yesterday. He examined me, poked me, prodded me, hummed and hawed and with a frown told me he was not happy that the disc at L5/S1 hadn't done what he had hoped, and that I would definitely need the epidural and other injections. Great! A couple of injections - that's nothing if it's going to MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY. And then he told me that not only could he not do it for 10 days (he's off on holiday again) but that he has to do it under general anaesthetic. WTF?? They don't knock pregnant women out when they give them an epidural, do they? So, again I ask, WTF?? Before I had a chance to ask him why, I was ushered out of the door and he was on to his next patient.

So, I will be out of action on Monday November 5th. The procedure is early morning and I get to leave early evening. I'm not sure how this will affect NaBloPoMo. Maybe I shall write something and see if I can text it to my blog on that day. Does anyone know if this actually works?

When one only does half of what one is supposed to do...

I'm sleepy. My contact lens fought me and lost, but I still look as though I've done a round with Amir Khan. I've not done all I should have done today. I have been held back by idiots on the phone, crappy hold music and idiots getting in my way pretty much all day. Then I saw this:


I love this site. Today this is my favourite picture:


Tomorrow morning I see my doctor. I hope that he will tell me that he can just give me the epidural and steroid injections and then I can be on my way. Minus the pain. Fingers crossed he doesn't tell me that I need surgery. Chau chau.

Not such a food snob after all

I do think of myself as a food snob. I won't buy pasta sauces in a jar, (they're so easy to make and cheaper than Ragu) or microwave meals. I try to buy fresh produce from the local Farmer's Market as often as possible. I'm not too keen on cooking, but I prefer to know, and choose, more or less how much salt and fat is in the food I feed my family and tend to steer clear of processed stuff. (Let's just say you will never, EVER catch me eating a breakfast burrito).

Apart from this:

This is my lunch every day. Powdered, cheese flavoured stuff with little bits of dried pasta and broccoli - put in a mug with boiling water and leave for 4 minutes. Sounds rather revolting but it is actually the best thing ever. After nicer stuff, obviously.

Try it! I dares ya.

"Excuse me, Miss..."

(Damn it. I knew I shouldn't have made eye contact and SMILED - wtf?? - at the very scary looking homeless guy as his head rose out of the rubbish bin outside the office). I tried to look away quickly, but he was on to me.

"Before you just say no, can I please ask if you have any change? It's not for drugs (yeah, right). My friend and I need to get five pounds together so we can sleep in a hostel tonight. It's so, so cold."

Damn it again. It was cold. So cold, in fact, that i had a good 3mm covering of ice on my windshield this morning. So cold (and still dark - sun rise was at 7.36am today) that every time I breathed in it felt like I was inhaling glass. The poor, wretched man was filthy. Dirt so ingrained in his hands and around his nails that would have required a chemical peel and bleach to remove. To be honest, he didn't look like a user. His eyes were bright. He was lucid, well mannered and articulate although most of his teeth were missing and the few that were left were the colour of dark chocolate. The smell was incredible. It made my eyes water but I couldn't let it show - the man was rock bottom, and to make him feel lower would be inhumane. I rooted through my handbag, hoping that I had sized this guy up correctly - there were a few people walking down the street, but not many and it was still dark. I finally found my purse and tipped out all the money I had in to his hand. He stared at it for a second, his eyes growing wide.

"You're an angel, Miss," he said as he turned around and walked off. "You're an angel."

And to show everyone just how serious I am about being back in Blogland:

I have decided to join up to NaBloPoMo - that's National Blog Posting Month, a great idea though up by Fussy last year. I hear that it was a roaring success and, to be honest, it sounds like an awful lot of fun. All you have to do is post every day (yes, that's EVERY day) throughout the month of November. There are even prizes! Join, join, join!!

Where I send a wish to the sky up above that I can now start to gain a bit of normality... Please?

Things have gotten way out of hand. This whole slipped disc thing? Not once did the surgeon explain just what it would mean. How it would affect me daily. How it would make even the most mundane tasks seem as if I am climbing Everest or something. Walking Sam around the park takes almost 2 hours when it would normally take one. I have to give myself extra time when I have a bath because, hell, you try getting out of one of a bath tub with a prolapsed disc. And then the drugs. Oh, the drugs. If I didn't have to work, I'd be happy as Larry. Only on the odd occasion do they do nothing for the pain - the rest of the time I'm in a bit of a chemical-induced haze. I almost wish I'd told the surgeon to whip (what's left of) the disc out straight away. Anyhoo - it seems that I'm getting used to having to make all these changes - which I hope will not have to last for too long. I see the dude again on Thursday so hopefully he can just do the injections and I can get back to normal. Fingers crossed.

Friday evening was fantastic - after work we went out for a couple of drinks and watched the game for 3rd place in the Rugby World Cup. My boys in sky blue managed to trounce France once again, placing them 3rd in the world rankings with a final score of 34-10. The match was like a pressure cooker, and Honiss and his touch judges had their work cut out trying to keep a lid on the game as passion rose and tempers flared. Contepomi was incredible, sparking the whole team, and even the cave man wasn't able to douse the fire. The weekend was pretty dire for English sport. England lost the rugby, which was bound to happen, although I was rather surprised at how well they played. Unfortunately, the Springboks gave England no space whatsoever and Johnny had no room to try for any goal kicks. It was a shame, but the mistakes England made were amateurish which, to be honest, is not really what people expect from such a mature team. I put £5 on South Africa to win a couple of weeks ago when the odds were 5/2 - they were looking so strong, right from the start.

Things at work have been crazy busy, too. Although I was not able to go on my holiday because of my back, there's been so much to do, I have been running around like a hamster on speed. I have had to spend some time in Europe checking out tanks, sorting out VAT and other highly exciting stuff. Now, though, I really am back. I have no travel plans and things seem to be quieting down a bit on the Western Front, which means I should definitely have more blogging time. This weekend seems to have reflected the wind down nicely. On Saturday I visited a friend who's just recently had a baby. He's 8 weeks old now and weighs 12 lbs. This may not seem monstrous to people who know anything about babies, but when you look at the size of his parents, (all of 5 foot nothing) it makes you wonder just what part of their gene pool that little thing was pulled from. She is tiny - when I say 5 foot nothing I mean it - and yet she managed to push an 8lb baby out. All I can say is that she must have one stretchy cervix. So, baby Milton (do NOT ask) is a healthy, happy little boy. He has all 10 fingers and toes, is growing at a speed of knots, has these huge blue eyes and shock of dark hair (which seems to extend to his shoulders, the edge of his ears and his thighs - is this baby fluff? Or has she given birth to a chimpanzee?) and is simply beautiful. And makes me broody.

HRH has taken to walking most of the time now, instead of scooting along on her behind. She actually gets herself up, walks around and can even take herself outside to pee and poop (which, by the way, is SUCH GOOD NEWS). Her balance isn't so great, so when she gets over excited and tries to turn too quickly she ends up falling. We even took her out for a (very short) proper walk on Friday last week. She didn't poop for the whole of Saturday, so then we took her out to the park briefly where she promptly did 7. I have a feeling her colon must have been at breaking point - she lost about 3 lbs in as many minutes. Fortunately enough between us we had enough nappy sacks for the mess both dogs made. I think that's her way of saying that she wants to start going out again. We have to be very careful with her still, and she will be going back to the vet next week to have a check up, but things are definitely on the up. To those of you who donated, thank you so, very much.

By the way, has anyone seen this movie? Or this one? Are they any good?

What a long time!!

It's been almost 3 weeks since I last posted here. Three weeks tomorrow, in fact. Lots has happened in such a short space of time. Like being admitted to hospital to be sedated and put on a morphine drip because THE PAIN WAS MAKING ME DELUSIONAL. Fortunately, I have medical insurance, which means I only had to wait 2 days for an MRI scan, instead of the 4 months currently dictated by the extra long waiting list. I'm still trying to figure out how best to get a picture of the actual MRI up here, because my scribble doesn't do it any kind of justice:


That big black mess? That's what's left of my disc in the L5/S1 region. This piece of tissue has prolapsed, "obliterated the sciatic theca" (yes, the MRI report does, in fact, use the word OBLITERATED) and apparently now, parts of the disc are disintegrating, which (hopefully) should release some of the pressure. If not then it'll be epidurals and stuff, which I much prefer the sound of, as opposed to someone GOING ANYWHERE NEAR MY SPINE WITH A KNIFE. Because I'm not particularly wanting that. How this happened, I don't know. The surgeon described it as spontaneous, as I've had no history of back trouble and suffered no trauma. Weird. Anyhow - I'm now on severe amounts of opiates and diazepam, flying higher than a very high kite. Woop! It almost makes up for the fact that I was meant to be on holiday in Portugal this week.

HRH is home and doing fantastically! She is still unable to walk, by herself, but is able to stand for a couple of minutes unaided, she sits in the correct position, and when we take her outside with her special sling, she moves both legs trying to walk (although there's still no weight on her right leg).

It's the start of October, and I'm trying to organize a wonderful Christmas party for work. Everyone seems to be booked up for the dates that we're available, so I have my work cut out for me!

Anyhow, I'm back.