Not funny

Me: "Wow, she's pretty" (admiring picture of Shakira in a trashy magazine).

Ma: "Sweetie, you're not G.A.Y. are you?"

Me: "WHAT??"

Ma: "Well, you never bring boys home anymore. Since you split from Mr Fussy you seem to go out but you never bring anyone home. I don't know if you're seeing boys because I never get to meet your new friends."

Me: "This house is crazy. The boy's rooms stink - I mean a cloud of poisonous gas infiltrates whenever they open their doors. They are rude, lazy and obnoxious, and you find it funny. You seriously think I'd bring anyone home?"

Ma: "No need to be so tetchy. I was only asking."

Me: "You were asking if I was homosexual. I'm not going to talk about this with you."

Ma: "Well, you're getting older now..."

Me: "I'm 22!"

Ma: "...and I would like to be young enough to enjoy my granchildren."

Me: "Let me repeat: I am 22 years old. No grandkids. Not for a long time."

Ma: "Humph. I was only saying..."

Me: "Well don't."