I have been told

that I should try online dating in an attempt to end my current dry spell. I said no. No way, no how. I do not want to tell the members of lonely hearts websites my chest size, or what I like to do when I'm alone some evenings. Hell, no. I'd rather eat my arm. All the way to my elbow.
Even if I have a choice between online dating and remaining a Singleton (later to become a Spinster - ouch) for all eternity, the answer is still no. I understand that relationships happen, blah blah blah, especially when and where you least expect them, blah blah blah, but I will NOT go looking for a relationship on willyoubemyboyfriend.com or something equally as revolting. Eugh.

I do, however, need to get me some lovin'. And not just a quick shag. I just want someone who will talk to meeee. And listen, of course. Damn, I'm just not good at this. And I can't believe I'm actively looking. It's not like my Biological Clock is ticking loudly at me or anything. Why on earth do I feel I need a boyfriend? Aaargh! Now I'm just angry at myself. Bugger.