Peeing in public

I love going out with my friends. The girls catch up and chat about work, boyfriends, (or, in my case, the lack thereof) how the end of the month had better hurry the hell up because we just have to have that beautiful pair of 4-inch heels that we just know we'll never wear out because the hurt so much, or that nasty cow at work who gets up your arse by passing off your ideas as her own and seems to get away with murder just by batting her fake and obviously nylon-derived eyelashes. The guys all talk very seriously about the football scores, their new football boots that are so amazing they actually make you run sooo much faster, how their Sunday-league team has been promoted to the next division, or that the beer here is not as good as it used to be. After the first drink, when all the important things (see above) have been said, everyone mingles and, well, no doubt y'all know the rest.

I love these rendezvous. Until I need to pee. Don't get me wrong, I love the company of my friends! Just not in the loo. Here, I like to be alone. I do not take kindly to those suffering from I Must Pee In A Group Syndrome. Whether I'm out for the night, or calling Hughie the morning after (no, this does not happen often at all) I like to be alone. End of. I do not announce to the entire company that I am heading to "powder my nose" - hell, I don't even tell my closest girlfriend I'm going, so that we can giggle about something petty in the privacy of a public WC while we squeeze in to the same cubicle and take turns in using the loo. I quietly stand and make my leave. Yet, there is always someone who takes pity on me visiting the powder room by myself. Someone who just "thought they would keep me company". This gets my goat. If I need someone to hold my hand, I'll ask. I, however, like to sit, pee, stand, re-dress, wash hands and exit. Very swiftly. No chit-chatting in the mean time. Simple.